We are here to spread love and awareness and to teach that being special needs is nothing to be sorry about


Im not sure if its because Harlows not big on crying or we just have way more patience then we thought but the first night home wasn't bad at all I'm hoping that if anything it just becomes a auto pilot sort of deal. What also helped us was my mother in law and grandma in law got us the owlet its the little sock that goes on your babies foot to monitor the heat rate and oxygen it did go off a couple times thinking that Harlow had left the room which we all know did not happen so I'm guessing it couldn't pick it up whatever way she was moving but other then that its the best peace of mind everrrrrr!  


The hospital was having us feed her every 3 hours on the dot half the reason she was having such a hard time eating was because she wasn't hungry the other half was because they had her so doped up who wants to eat when your sleeping? So we've pushed it to every 4 hours and bumped her amount up a little and she seems to be doing just fine. Ive been having such a hard time with the Drs because growing up I had one dr my whole family went to see he was caring and thoughtful and I never doubted him. Bobby how ever has had more broken bones then your average 29 year old so he's been thru the ring around from being told he would never walk again to them just prescribing him norcos instead of actually fixing the problem. He's a lot better at being able to see how the odds are tipped and see that Drs have to give all the information to prevent being sued. That however doesn't mean you have to horrible bed side manner to be a Dr. Wheres Derek Sheppard when you need him. (Grey's anatomy for those of you who don't watch the best show ever) Anyways what I'm getting at is it is incredibly hard to look at my daughter and see anything wrong with her when she acts like a normal baby and looks like a normal baby. I mean I feel like god is blessing us to be able to have the experience of a newborn but at the same time its like a tease because we are just wondering "what next" when really we should be appreciating the moments we have right now but no matter how much you tell your self focus on the here and now day to day its almost impossible to not look in to the future... I catch my self around 3 o'clock getting pretty down not because I mean to thats just the time of day things take a turn for me so I try to appreciate the mornings its irnoic tho because I used to be such a night person.  Did anyone else have this issue with their postpartum? or am I just weird? lol the social worker and head nurse were so surprised when I was willing to admit I had a problem I'm guessing women arnt as comfortable telling people. Me on the other hand I've felt with depression when my dad passed away I know how dark it can get and by saying it out loud it makes it real which then makes its easier to admit and get a grip on it. Little food for thought to anyone going thru it and scared to admit it because it seems like its a topic that is not talked about very much and so I can't imagine going thru it all alone. So with that all being said we made it thru our first night alone with a "sick" baby haven't killed each other yet and she's still happy as can be that to me is a win.